Can anger fuel you to become the best version of yourself?
I don’t know! Sometimes it just tears you down, but sometimes it can make you so angry you refuse to lose. This is what happened to me. Both these things happened to me. Most of my trauma, I wouldn’t wish on anyone, and I wouldn’t want to relive it. I don’t see any benefits to my traumatic past.
However, now I’m in an angry season of life. I’m furious, but not towards myself and not towards the loving people in my life. I don’t direct the anger onto something or someone in an unhealthy way. I just let it fuel my desires instead. It’s not easy; it’s not just something you can decide to do, most of the time.
But I realize more and more that my desire to become an established independent philosopher and a multi-creative artist comes from my resilience and motivation that comes from some kind of anger from the unfair treatment I went through.
I need to keep going because I’m too angry to give up. I need to keep trying because I refuse to lose.
The estrangement “trend”
Today, I finally realized that my toxic family will never change. It was both such a relief and a hard pill to swallow at the same time. Relief in the sense that now I can move on forward by myself without them, but hard because they are my family… But at least I know what road to take now!
The thing is, I don’t follow the trend of the estrangement of parents that I see a lot of on social media right now. I have always had a difficult time with my family. However, this “trend” has taught me that it is okay to cut ties to people who will only pull you down over and over again.
My fury makes me want to do what my family never believed I could
Things like:
- Freelancing in art and design
- Doing YouTube
- Study at a university level
- Finding a life partner
- Living a good life
I’m determined to succeed no matter what success looks like for me. I don’t need a huge audience, and I don’t need a huge amount of money. I just want to reach out to help people and to inspire. In one way, I already do all of these things.
For the first time in my life, I feel proud of myself. My anger is valid, and I know what to do now.
xx
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